To Love Fully, Surrender Your Story

Kelly L. Campbell
5 min readMay 8, 2020

How do we actually let go when our deep-rooted fears keep us anchored to the myth we’ve come to believe about what love is?

Alexander Milov. 2015. Love. [Mixed media]. Burning Man; Black Rock Desert, NV

As children, we’re taught by our parents or caretakers what love is, albeit inadvertently. We observe and absorb through osmosis how we’re supposed to "be" in order to have our needs met, to feel safe, and to feel a sense of belonging from those around us.

The inherent issue is that these so-called lessons only distance each of us from our True Nature. Essentially, we abandon ourselves in exchange for that longing for love. It’s the stuff of Greek mythology.

An act of childhood survival in the short-term determines many of our beliefs as adults about what love is: how it looks and sounds and feels, and how to disassociate from our values when giving or receiving it.

No upbringing was perfect, which is why we all have wounding that imprinted and fueled our beliefs, words and actions as we matured.

We spend a lifetime trying to reparent (heal) and reconnect with our own inner child to let little her or little him know that it's not only okay, but in fact necessary, to start communicating our wants and needs — especially when those reflect what we did not receive during our formative childhood years.

The Art (and Science) of Letting Go

In any new relationship that begins to feel like there’s real potential for a deepening sense of love and growth, our fears inevitably rise to the surface. Some of us appear doe-eyed, afraid of being hurt, rejected, or abandoned. Others run because we’re scared that we might hurt someone we already care about, or we’re so scared to let someone in because underlyingly we’re not sure we deserve unconditional love.

These represent only two of the ways in which our blueprint plays out when confronted with the reality of being seen or known for who we are for the first time.

Yet, if we can be brave enough to step into the arena, we have at least the opportunity to love fully. Those fears may end up manifesting into reality—that is a possibility because we cannot control our partner's story—but walking away before we can begin to discover our own capacity as individuals or as partners means…

Kelly L. Campbell

Trauma-informed Conscious Leadership Coach to self-aware visionaries. Author of Heal to Lead. Founder of Consciousness Leaders. More at